Shouldn't do should.....

"But instead of spending our lives running towards our dreams, we are often running away from a fear of failure or a fear of criticism."  

Eric Wright

If it was up to me, the word "should" would be added to the list of words that your mama taught you not to say.  "Should" is right up there along with all the soap-eating 4-letter words. It tops the list, right after those words that make the preacher shake his head and somewhere in the mix of words such as, "can't and ain't."  It needs to banned from people's vocabulary.

Should (verb)

Used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's actions: "he should have been careful". Indicating a desirable or expected state: "by now students should be able to read".

"Should," regardless of how you start it out, whether it be "I should," "you should," "they should," or "we should" often leads to criticism. "I should" is the worst.  

I've lived underneath those two words.  Living there means living with guilt, constant feeling of failure and a life dis congruent with the heart.  I have since tried to live in the "I am" or "I will" highway of life, and I've slowly rolled out of that dark ditch of "I should."  It's a much happier and exciting road to travel! (I feel someone out there needed to hear that for them self as well.)

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
Elbert Hubbard

Right now, at this moment, even though I know it is a fact of life and even sometimes necessary, I DETEST CRITICISM.  

Detest is a strong word, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to look very far to find what has evoked this blog or emotion.  So yes, in case you missed it this past week, I received a big dose of good-ole-fashioned, ready or not, "put your big girl panties on" criticism.  Criticism that was posted publicly in the world's and my face about my baby (aka, University Pickers.)  

So before I get into the "criticism is a part of life" portion of this blog, let me share with you the truth for your amusement my initial reaction after receiving this wonderful "gift of feedback."

I was ready to go Mama Bear on the girl.  I debated stalking her down and putting a big ole bar of soap in that pretty little mouth of hers until she confessed that she was the spawn of the devil.  Recognizing that I was not being rational, I instead texted my sister the comment and told her my desires to stalk the girl and I poked fun at her profile picture.  We debated how I should respond.  Then, I hide the girl's comment from the "world."  Needless to say,  I did not handle the criticism very well....at...all. 

So, a few days has now passed.  My emotional response to the unsolicited criticism has subsided and I've come to grips that this is just the beginning.  That was just a taste of what's to come.

The Mr's and my creation of University Pickers is now out there and not every body is going to love it.  Apparently, some (1 out of 3,500 so far) will even hate it.    

So, I share this little story with you perhaps for my own good but also with hopes that someone out there might read it whose been dealing with some unsolicited criticism as well.  We can spend days trying to understand and analyze why some people are just so mean.  We can agonize over what we "should" do.  We can allow self doubt to creep in.  Or, we can continue to focus on and follow what in our hearts we know is the truth. 

I think Joyce Meyer says it best:

"Statistics say that 10% of all people won't like us, so let's enjoy the 90% who do and stop worrying about the 10% who don't!"

This week, I am counting my blessings and very thankful for the 90%!