Sunday, February 16, 2014

My story

It's been over 5 years since the "accident" that took my sister, who was only 43 years old and who left behind 4 children.  One day, I may muster up the courage to write out the details of that day and explain further the quotation marks around the word "accident," but for today, lets leave it as a tragic event that has  re-defined my life.  I often view my life as pre- and post- "accident."

Leading up to that day, I had a rather severe case of anxiety.  Anxiety that would nearly demobilize me and cause me to lose sleep.  Post- accident, my anxiety nearly went away.  Things like bills and a highly demanding boss just didn't get my goat like it did before.  After all, I experienced for the first time as an adult true grief.  Everything else- outside of relationships and the enjoyment of self and of life- seems a bit petty and unimportant.  

Two years later, I remember having raised eyebrows when I excitedly phoned home to share the news that Paul had asked me to marry him, and my mother's reply was, "Whose Paul?"  I laughed it off as did she, thinking she was kidding, and I nervously laughed it off to Paul.  It took me 2 years to accept and realize that she wasn't trying to be funny, but in fact, this was the beginning of a long journey with my mother and her battle with Alzheimer.

A year later after getting engaged, I experienced grief all over again as I watch my mother-in-law fight for her life from diagnosis of Pancreatic cancer to 9 months later, her last breath. The feelings for my husband deepened as I watched him literally carry his mother, made up of nothing but hanging skin and bones, from her bed to the restroom.  I have a soulful cry accompanied by a giggle when I think about Paul racing down a two-lane road with a McDonald's ice cream in tow, just trying to get it home to his Mama in one piece, who lived 20 minutes away from the nearest McDonald's.  In that moment, no one was going to stop him from getting that special request of an ice cream cone to his dying mother.

Shortly after, we launched University Pickers, an antique mall in Huntsville, Ala., and the healing process began for both of us.
 
Things were going amazingly well until my family and I took a family vacation to the beach with my mother.  On what we felt was our "last" family vacation, as my mother's memory continues to deteriorate, several vendors from University Pickers, the antique mall that Paul and I owned, got together and launched a very personal attack on  Paul and I while we were out of town and most vulnerable.  We (my entire family) watched remotely from surveillance, 7 hours away, as these "friends" of ours went into our business and ripped down their walls creating construction zones while we were open for business, sent out nasty emails to our vendors, and had little whispering talks around the corners, accusing us of "unethical business practices." Then, they went and launched their own store.   

I had an email forwarded to me, as I did not want to believe it as it was written from the one person who I trusted the most- who at one point had a key to our business.   To this day, I still cannot believe it happened like it did as I adored these people, loved their children, prayed with these people, went "pickin" with these people, and "broke bread" with these people. NEVER once did the wife, who I naively thought was my friend, have the courage to confront me, as I still to this day have NO idea what caused the fall out.  It's such a shame as there was 1,000 better ways to handle it, and I would have been one of their biggest fans had they just been direct.  I know in my heart I didn't deserve the way I was treated, and I believe deep down, SHE does too.  As for the rest of the "Huntsville Mafia," (their words, not mine,) I wish them much success in their endeavors, and I am glad to see them doing something with their lives. Their actions deeply hurt me.  

Business, however, was not hurt. In fact, after this group left, our sales sky-rocketed and we had back-to-back, record sales months.  Shortly after, I was offered a promotion, and we were able to sell University Pickers to the most deserving of sisters.  The Lord works in very mysterious ways (and he does not bless discord.)

It's been about 5 months since we sold University Pickers and moved to Georgia. Since moving,  Paul and I have had a blast traveling, we took our first cruise, have enjoyed decorating our new place, picking in new places, and visiting family and friends after 1 very jam-packed year. My new job is a dream come true, and I am so thankful. We get emails all the time, when are you opening another store???  I'll be honest and say that I think about it every day.  I just love it so much.  I love the people, and I love being a part of such a talented and gifted community.  It's not about the money for me.  It's truly about the people.  

As for now, I'm having such a fun time featuring other talented people and places on my Pickin on the Road page. It's my therapy (and now you know why.) I am truly in a healthy, happy place right now.  So, my answer for "when are you opening a new store" is this:  maybe some day.  :)  For now, there's this little "bug" that all of a sudden has been pestering me a bit that might have Paul and I re-thinking some things.  

I'll leave you with that for now....






2 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing Katherine, I had no idea all that had happened at UP. I'm sorry for all of that, but I still think of you and Paul and how nice you were to me. Hoping that someday we will meet up again.

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